EddieDeezen.com

QUOTE OF THE DAY

THIS WEEK PRESIDENT BUSH HOSTED THE ANNUAL WHITE HOUSE CHANUKAH PARTY.

THERE WAS AN AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN BUSH MADE A WISH AND BLEW OUT ALL EIGHT CANDLES.

                                    - CONAN O'BRIEN

QUESTION OF THE DAY

WHY DIDN'T SYLVESTER STALLONE EVER MEET ELVIS PRESLEY?

QUOTE OF THE DAY

THE WORLD'S BEST DARTS PLAYER HAS DIED AT SIXTY-SIX.

CAUSE OF DEATH WAS THE WORLD'S WORST DARTS PLAYER.

                              - CRAIG KILBORN

QUESTION OF THE DAY

JOHN LENNON LOVED TO PLAY MONOPOLY, BUT HE ALWAYS HAD A STRANGE CUSTOM WHEN HE PLAYED.

WHAT ODD THING DID JOHN ALWAYS DO WHEN HE PLAYED MONOPOLY?

QUOTE OF THE DAY

I WAS IN THE ROTC PROGRAM.

I REMEMBER ONCE I WAS WALKING THROUGH CAMPUS AND MY INSTRUCTOR GRABS ME, AND HE'S A REAL BIG GUY, AND YELLS, "IT'S BEEN SIX WEEKS SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU IN CAMOUFLAGE CLASS!"

I SAID "I'M GETTING GOOD".

                                     - EMO PHILLIPS

QUESTION OF THE DAY

WHAT WAS SO UNUSUAL ABOUT THE 1967 FILM OPERATION KID BROTHER?

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

MY GIRLFRIEND'S WEIRD. ONE DAY SHE ASKED ME, "IF YOU COULD KNOW HOW AND WHEN YOU WERE GOING TO DIE, WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW?".

I SAID, "NO".

SHE SAID, "OKAY, FORGET IT".

                                - STEVEN WRIGHT

QUESTION OF THE DAY

WHAT MOVIE STAR WAS GIVEN HER CO-STAR AS A GIFT?

QUOTE OF THE DAY

NEW ORLEANS IS BANNING FORTUNE-TELLERS ON THE STREET.

THEY SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING - OVER 140 FORTUNE-TELLERS HAVE ALREADY LOST THEIR JOBS THIS YEAR TO COOKIES.

                                      - CRAIG KILBORN