EddieDeezen.com

TONIGHT'S OSCARS & JERRY LEWIS

THIS IS NOT GENERALLY A BLOG, MORE JUST SOME FUN TIDBITS I POST FOR MY FRIENDS AND FANS, BUT I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A FEW COMMENTS (AND SHARE MY OPINIONS ABOUT) TONIGHT'S ACADEMY AWARDS.

FIRST OFF, I HAVE A FRIEND, JIM MESKIMEN, WHO HAS A ROLE IN AN OSCAR-NOMINATED FILM FROST NIXON, WHICH I STILL HAVE TO SEE.

ANOTHER FRIEND, TOM KANE, WAS A MAJOR ANNOUNCER AT LAST YEAR'S OSCARS, I DON'T KNOW IF HE WILL BE ANNOUNCING AGAIN TONIGHT, BUT I HOPE HE IS - HE WAS GREAT LAST YEAR.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, MY PAL, DANNY MANN WILL BE DUBBING A LINE IN A MONTAGE TONIGHT (AS FRANK SINATRA, NO LESS) - THAT'LL BE DANNY SAYING:

THE WINNER IS EVA MARIE SAINT IN
ON THE WATERFRONT.

WHEN WE FILMED 1941 BACK IN 1979, THERE WAS ALWAYS A SORT OF ANNOYING, SMART ALECK-TYPE GUY HANGING AROUND, WHO REALLY WASN'T SUCH A BAD GUY WHEN YOU GOT TO KNOW HIM. HE WAS BARELY MORE THAN AN EXTRA IN THAT FILM, BUT I REMEMBER HIM IN THE CAST - IN FACT, THAT MAY HAVE BEEN HIS VERY FIRST FILM.

HIS NAME WAS MICKEY ROURKE. I WILL BE ROOTING FOR MICKEY TO WIN BEST ACTOR TONIGHT. I KNOW MICKEY HAS BEEN THROUGH A LOT IN HIS OWN LIFE AND I HOPE HE WINS - IT'LL BE A GREAT STORY OF HUMAN REDEMPTION.

HEATH LEDGER IS THE SUREST BET OF THE NIGHT TO WIN AS BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR FOR HIS INCREDIBLE PERFORMANCE AS THE JOKER. HEATH'S FAMILY WILL ACCEPT FOR HIM, BUT I HAVE NO DOUBTS AT ALL THAT HEATH WILL BE UP THERE WATCHING THE AWARDS AND SEEING THIS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.

BUT MY MAIN REASON FOR WATCHING WILL BE THE AWARD GIVEN TO A SUPREME HERO OF MINE, JERRY LEWIS. INCREDIBLY, IT IS A HUMANITARIAN AWARD AND NOT FOR JERRY'S GREAT FILMS. THIS IS A GREAT INJUSTICE, I FEEL, BUT AT LEAST THIS BRILLIANT GENIUS IS GETTING AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.

I WILL NEVER FORGET A SPECIAL MOMENT DURING THE FILMING OF THE POLAR EXPRESS. AS I WAS SITTING AROUND ON THE STAGE ONE DAY, TOM HANKS CAME GALLOPING OVER TO ME.

EDDIE! GUESS WHO I TALKED TO LAST NIGHT? HE SAID, IN THAT GREAT CHILD-LIKE ENTHUSIASM HE HAS.

WHO?, I ASKED.

JERRY LEWIS!!

HE TOLD ME HE HAD MET JERRY BEFORE, BUT HE WAS JUST TELLING ME, AS A FELLOW FROM MY SAME GENERATION, ABOUT MEETING THIS MOVIE LEGEND. WE PROCEEDED TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH JERRY MEANT TO OUR CHILDHOOD YEARS, HOW HUGE HE WAS. JUST THE FACT THAT A STAR LIKE TOM WAS SLIGHTLY IN AWE OF THE MAN IS VERY TELLING.

JERRY BELONGS ON THE LIST OF THE GREATEST FILM COMEDIANS OF ALL-TIME, ALONG WITH CHARLIE CHAPLIN AND BUSTER KEATON AND THE MARX BROTHERS AND THE THREE STOOGES. THESE GUYS ALL HAD A PROFOUND EFFECT ON ME AS A KID - IT IS A MAJOR UNDERSTATEMENT TO SAY THEY CHANGED MY LIFE. IF YOU LOOK AT SOME OF JERRY'S EARLY WORK, MAN, THE GUY IS BEYOND PRAISE. WHAT AN AMAZING TALENT, WHAT A GIANT OF A COMEDIAN.

I WAS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO SEE JERRY IN LAS VEGAS IN 1982 AND I LATER SAW HIM IN THE PLAY DAMN YANKEES IN 1996. I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW TALENTED THIS MAN WAS!! I WAS JUST MESMERIZED.

I AM GLAD JERRY WILL FINALLY GET AN OSCAR TONIGHT. YES, MAYBE IT IS FOR HIS WORK AS A "HUMANITARIAN", BUT THEY DON'T EVEN SEE THE CLASSIC IRONY. THE GREAT COMEDIANS LIKE JERRY LEWIS - WHO HAVE BROUGHT SO MUCH LAUGHTER AND JOY INTO THIS SUFFERING, SAD WORLD - ARE HUMANITARIANS, AND FEW HAVE DONE MORE TO BRING HAPPINESS INTO THE WORLD THAN JERRY.

I WILL BE GLAD TO SEE JERRY HAVE "HIS MOMENT" TONIGHT, BUT HE WILL NEVER KNOW JUST HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO A SKINNY, GEEKY, TEENAGE MISFIT WITH GLASSES, WHO SAT WATCHING HIS FILMS, ALMOST TRANSFIXED IN AWE AND ADMIRATION.

I WOULD WATCH AND THINK TO MYSELF, THERE IS ACTUALLY ANOTHER PERSON ON THIS PLANET WHO IS LIKE ME!!! SOMETIMES IN LIFE WE HAVE "FRIENDS" WHO AREN'T EVEN AWARE WE ARE ALIVE. THANKS, JERRY

HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY!

USA TODAY ASKED:

WHO DO YOU REGARD AS THE GREATEST U.S. PRESIDENT?

LINCOLN - 18%
REAGAN - 16%
JFK - 14%
CLINTON - 13%
FDR - 9%
WASHINGTON 7%
TRUMAN - 3%
TEDDY ROOSEVELT - 2%
G.W. BUSH - 2%
EISENHOWER - 2%
JEFFERSON - 2%
FORD - 1%
G.H.W. BUSH - 1%
OTHER - 1%
NONE - 5%
NO OPINION - 6%

QUESTION OF THE DAY

WHAT HOST OF SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE WAS SO DISLIKED BY THE CAST THAT MOST OF THEM REFUSED TO STAND NEAR HIM AT THE END OF THE SHOW DURING THE GOODNIGHTS?

MORE BAD "FAMILY FEUD" ANSWERS

HERE ARE TEN MORE BAD FAMILY FEUD:

NAME A BODY PART BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER "N"?
NAME.

NAME A FAMOUS BRIDGE?
BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS.

NAME A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL?
LEOPARD.

NAME SOMETHING YOU HIT WHEN IT'S NOT WORKING?
YOUR SPOUSE.

NAME A REASON FOR KNEELING?
TO BE BEHEADED.

NAME SOMETHING THAT COMES IN SEVENS?
FINGERS.

NAME A CITY NAMED AFTER A PRESIDENT?
CARSON CITY.

NAME SOMETHING SLIPPERY?
A CONMAN.

NAME SOMETHING ORANGE?
A BANANA.

NAME SOMETHING AN INDIAN CHIEF MIGHT USE?
SQUAW.

STORKS AND BABIES

HERE'S THE ORIGIN OF THE POPULAR FOLK TRADITION.

BEFORE CHRISTIANITY BECAME THE DOMINANT RELIGION IN EUROPE, PAGAN WORSHIP PREVAILED. THE SUMMER SOLSTICE, THE DAY WITH THE MOST HOURS OF SUNLIGHT, NORMALLY FALLS ON JUNE 20TH OR 21ST IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE. THIS DATE WAS A HUGELY IMPORTANT HOLIDAY. FESTIVALS WERE HELD, OFTEN LASTING DAYS AT A TIME. THESE HOLIDAYS INVOLVED LOTS OF DRINKING OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES AND, THE EVIDENCE SUGGESTS, LOTS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY.

THE EVIDENCE? THE SUDDEN BOOST IN THE NUMBER OF BABIES BORN NINE MONTHS AFTER THE ANNUAL EVENTS, IN THE FOLLOWING APRIL. IN NORTHERN EUROPE, SOMETHING ELSE ARRIVED AROUND THIS TIME - EUROPEAN WHITE STORKS. THESE BIRDS WOULD FLY TO NORTHERN EUROPE FOR THEIR SPRINGTIME MATING SEASON. STORKS GET ALONG AMAZINGLY WELL WITH HUMANS, TO THE POINT OF THE BIRDS MAKING THEIR NESTS ON THE ROOFS OF HOUSES, SOMETHING STILL SEEN THERE TODAY.

THE SIMULTANEOUS ARRIVAL OF THE BIRDS AND THE BABIES LED TO THE FOLK TALE OF STORKS DELIVERING BABIES (AND DROPPING THEM DOWN CHIMNEYS). WHERE EXACTLY THE LEGEND BEGAN IS UNKNOWN, BUT IT IS BELIEVED TO HAVE ORIGINATED IN NORTHERN GERMANY.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

PETER: OH MY GOD BRIAN, THERE'S A MESSAGE IN MY ALPHABITS. IT SAYS "OOOOOO".

BRIAN: PETER, THOSE ARE CHEERIOS.

                                 - FAMILY GUY

QUESTION OF THE DAY

HOW DID ORTHODOX JEWS EFFECT THE LOS ANGELES TRAFFIC SYSTEM?

BAD IDEA FOR PLAYBOY

THE PHRASE "WARTS AND ALL" MEANS TO LEAVE EVERYTHING IN.

IT HAS A VERY SIMPLE DERIVATION.

ENGLISH POLITICAL AND MILITARY LEADER OLIVER CROMWELL WAS HAVING A PORTRAIT OF HIMSELF DONE.

HE COMMISSIONED THE ARTIST, BUT HE HAD AN ORIGINAL REQUEST - HE TOLD THE ARTIST TO INCLUDE HIS BLEMISHES IN THE PORTRAIT.

THIS WAS QUITE REVOLUTIONARY AT THE TIME (OR AT ANY TIME). 

IT IS FROM THIS AMAZING REQUEST THAT THE PHRASE "WARTS AND ALL" DERIVED.

WORST "FAMILY FEUD" ANSWERS

IT'S EASY TO LAUGH AT BAD FAMILY FEUD ANSWERS, BUT REMEMBER, THESE POOR PEOPLE ARE UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE TO "THINK FAST". NONETHELESS, HERE ARE TEN OF THE "WORST EVER" CONTESTANT RESPONSES:

NAME SOMETHING YOU'D DO TONIGHT IF THE WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END TOMORROW?
GET THE KIDS AND PACK.

NAME THE TOUGHEST MONTH OF A PREGNANCY?
SEPTEMBER.

NAME A FAMOUS BROTHER AND SISTER?
BONNIE AND CLYDE.

NAME A FAMOUS OR FICTIONAL WILLY?
WILLY THE POOH.

NAME SOMETHING YOU OPEN OTHER THAN A DOOR?
BOWELS.

NAME SOMETHING YOU SQUEEZE?
PEANUT BUTTER.

NAME A FAMOUS DICK?
CARROT.

NAME A BOY MENTIONED IN NURSERY RHYMES?
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD.

NAME A FAST ANIMAL?
HIPPO.

NAME SOMETHING ASSOCIATED WITH LIVERPOOL?
THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

MY SISTER GAVE ME A CLOTH CALENDAR. TOOK ME THREE HOURS TO SEW IN A DENTAL APPOINTMENT.

                                     - EMO PHILLIPS