EddieDeezen.com

QUOTE OF THE DAY

MICHAEL VICK IS SO UNPOPULAR IN PHILADELPHIA, HE COULDN'T GET ELECTED DOG CATCHER.

                                                  - FREDDY GOLIN

QUOTE OF THE DAY

YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR FIRST CRUSH. MINE WAS ORANGE.

                                                  - EMO PHILLIPS

QUOTE OF THE DAY

I SAT DOWN BESIDE HER, SAID HELLO, AND OFFERED TO BUY HER A DRINK. THEN NATURAL SELECTION REARED ITS UGLY HEAD.

                                 - RODNEY DANGERFIELD

QUOTE OF THE DAY

I HAVE TO THANK MY AGENTS, WHO BELIEVED IN ME WHEN EVERYONE ELSE DID.

 

                      - DON REO (AT THE WGA AWARDS)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

PRESIDENT OBAMA SAYS IF THE BEARS WIN THIS WEEKEND, HE'S GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL.
HA, GOOD LUCK GETTING A TICKET!

- STEPHEN COLBERT

QUOTE OF THE DAY

THE GUITAR'S ALRIGHT JOHN, BUT YOU'LL NEVER EARN A LIVING WITH IT

- JOHN LENNON'S AUNT MIMI

 
JOHN LENNON 1940 - 1980

STOLEN FROM US ALL, 30 YEARS AGO TODAY.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

THE GOOD NEWS: BRAD PITT IS SHOOTING A MOVIE IN STAGE NEXT TO MINE.

THE BAD NEWS: 3 PEOPLE THOUGHT I WAS SHILO.

   - DAVID SPADE

QUOTE OF THE DAY

A MINNEAPOLIS MAN HAS BEEN SPEAKING ONLY IN KLINGON TO HIS CHILD FOR THE FIRST THREE YEARS OF HIS LIFE.

IN FACT, SO FAR THE ONLY WORDS THE CHILD CAN SAY ARE "I HATE YOU, DAD".

    -  CONAN O'BRIEN

QUOTE OF THE DAY

I'M NOT SAYING SHE'S UGLY - BUT IF I CHECKED INTO A HOTEL WITH HER, I'D HAVE TO PUT OUT THE "PLEASE DISTURB" SIGN.

- TONY ORLANDO

QUOTE OF THE DAY

ONCE WE WERE MAKING LOVE, A CURIOUS OPTICAL ILLUSION OCCURRED - IT LOOKED AS THOUGH SHE WERE MOVING.

                              - WOODY ALLEN