MY AFLAC DUCK AUDITION

 
I'VE ALWAYS HATED AUDITIONS. I'VE BEEN GOING TO THEM FOR OVER 30 YEARS NOW, AND YES, I STILL DON'T LIKE THEM. NOW, THIS MEANS  I HATE "HAVING TO GO TO THEM".  BUT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, A GREAT, FRIENDLY DIRECTOR WILL BE THERE AND THEY WILL MAKE IT FUN.

WHEN ANY ACTOR OR ACTRESS CAN COMMUNICATE THEMSELVES WELL, IT IS ALWAYS FUN. A GOOD DIRECTOR ALWAYS HELPS. I HEARD ABOUT THE OPEN AUDITIONS FOR THE AFLAC DUCK A FEW WEEKS AGO. YOU COULD JUST E-MAIL ONE IN (MY FRIEND SUSAN HAD SENT ME THE SITE WITH THE INFO. WHERE I COULD SEND IN MY VOICE-OVER AUDITION) SO, I HAD MY PAL TODD COME OVER TO HELP ME SEND ONE TO THE AFLAC PEOPLE.

ON SUNDAY, MARCH 25TH, WE WENT TO A NEIGHBOR'S IN-HOME STUDIO AND I KNOCKED OFF MY AFLAC DUCK BIT. TODD SENT IN MY AUDITION, AND THAT WAS THAT.

BUT TODD'S BROTHER ROB SET UP AN "IN PERSON" AUDITION. AND SO, ON MONDAY, APRIL 4TH, ROB AND TODD DROVE ME OUT TO A CASTING PLACE IN SANTA MONICA. I GOT INTERVIEWED BEFORE THE AUDITION TWICE, THERE WERE A LOT OF CAMERAS AROUND. IT WASN'T A BIG "CATTLE CALL" LIKE I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, JUST ABOUT 4 OTHER GUYS AND ME. (THERE WERE ACTUALLY ABOUT 13,000 GUYS - AND WOMEN - AUDITIONING FOR THE ROLE BESIDES ME. THAT FIGURES, IT WAS WIDE OPEN, I THINK EVEN TO NON-UNION PEOPLE!)

ANYWAY, I WENT IN AND IT WENT GREAT! I DID MY MARLON BRANDO IMPRESSION (AS THE DUCK), I DID THE DUCK CRYING REAL LOUD, THE DIRECTOR ASKED ME TO DO JERRY LEWIS AS THE DUCK AND I DID, I DID THE DUCK SINGING. HE TALKED TO ME ON CAMERA, INTERVIEWING ME ABOUT MY LIFE AND CAREER TOO. HE WAS A REALLY NICE GUY. THIS GUY WAS A FANTASTIC DIRECTOR AND I FELT GREAT.

I KNEW I HAD DONE WELL.

AS WE WERE DRIVING BACK TO L.A., THEY ACTUALLY CALLED ROB ON THE PHONE- THIS WAS ABOUT 20 MINUTES AFTER THE AUDITION. THEY TOLD ROB THEY DIDN'T WANT TO WASTE TIME, "COULD I COME IN FOR A CALL-BACK ON THURSDAY AT 2:00?"

(THIS WAS RATHER LIKE ASKING A GUY WHO HAS BEEN IN PRISON FOR FIVE YEARS IF HE WANTED A CONJUGAL VISIT WITH ANGELINA JOLIE!!)

I HAVE HAD SOME GOOD AUDITIONS OVER THE YEARS, BUT I HAVE NEVER HAD SUCH AN IMMEDIATE CALL-BACK REQUEST. 20 MINUTES!!! ROB, TODD AND I WENT OUT TO A CELEBRATORY LUNCH AT A LOCAL DINER. (LOOK, I'M NOT THAT GREEN, I KNEW IT WAS STILL A LONG SHOT, BUT THIS WAS JUST A DYNAMITE AUDITION, I KNEW I COULD PLAY THE DUCK FUNNY. I KNEW IT WAS STILL A LOTTERY, BUT MUCH LESS OF A LOTTERY NOW.)

I TOSSED AND TURNED ALL NIGHT WEDNESDAY, I WAS SO NERVOUS AND EXCITED. THEN THE WEIRDNESS SET IN. AT 11:00 ON THE MORNING OF THE AUDITION, AS I WAS JUST KILLING TIME AND WAITING TO GET PICKED UP AT 1:00, ROB CALLED ME.

THE AFLAC PEOPLE SAID MY AUDITION WAS CANCELED THAT DAY, THEY WERE FLYING IN SOME GUYS FROM NEW YORK AND THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT IN.

O.K., FAIR ENOUGH.

THEN, ROB AND I WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED FOR A RE-SCHEDULING OF THE AUDITION CALL - IT NEVER CAME!!

THIS MORNING, APRIL 20TH, I RECEIVED THE AFLAC REJECTION E-MAIL (I HAVE NEVER BEEN REJECTED BY E-MAIL FOR A ROLE BEFORE, BUT I GUESS WITH SO MANY PEOPLE TRYING OUT, THEY HAD TO DO IT THIS WAY.)

STILL, I WILL ALWAYS WONDER WHY I WAS NEVER GIVEN THAT CALL-BACK AUDITION AFTER THE FIRST ONE WENT SO WELL.

ROB AND I WERE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE AUDITION, AND I KNOW I COULD HAVE NAILED IT (ESPECIALLY IF I HAD THAT SAME GREAT DIRECTOR GUY DIRECTING ME!)

WELL, THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO THIS STORY. IT IS OFFICIALLY OVER NOW, IT WAS A FUN EXPERIENCE, BUT I GUESS THIS WILL ALWAYS BE A MYSTERY I WILL NEVER GET THE ANSWER TO.

Comments

[JPJENSEN]

MR DEEZEN MY HEART FELT DEEPEST SYMPATHY TO YOU AND THE OTHER CAST MEMBERS OF GREASE INREGUARDS TO THE LOSS OF MR DENNIS C STEWERT SINCERLY MR JOHN P JENSEN AKA LIEUTENNENT JENSEN USMC !!

[J. Goodman]

Hi Mr. Deezen,

Not that I ever wanted to or had the talent to become an actor, the above story is why I'm glad I hadn't. A 20 minute call-back, then a cancellation and then no follow-up. Nasty, although I've had job interviews with a similar tale-- one with Columbia Records (my all-time dream job) where I didn't get the job because I was deemed 'too enthusiastic'. Lol now, def. not then.
Maybe u sounded a little too much the the (visually) annoying and generally obnoxious Gilbert Gottfried. Ha.
I've seen and heard their new comms. Don't know who was hired but he's nothing special.

[mulberry alexa]

I like the writing structure of your blog and it does a pretty decent job of presenting the material.

[Rick McGuire]

Nice website Eddie. I like your personal stories the best, like the one ones about your Grease co-stars and such. I was sad though that you didn't get the Aflac Duck job. Would have been sweet. Nice paying gig for little work plus it sounds like something you would have enjoyed doing.

[Ratzzz]

ROB AND I WERE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE AUDITION, AND I KNOW I COULD HAVE NAILED IT (ESPECIALLY IF I HAD THAT SAME GREAT DIRECTOR GUY DIRECTING ME!)